4/9/12

Why Unofficially Yours is a Box-Office Hit (John Lloyd is acting like a chick, Angel is acting like a dude)

(BUT WAIT THERE's MORE!)



It's not only because of Angel Locsin's sultry bod



or John Lloyd Cruz's charisma and charm





though these helped.


It also helped that 5 of us trouped to the theater to watch it,

though technically it actually didnt because we didnt buy our tickets and instead availed of Star Cinema's free movie passes.


It also helped that the movie started with the action scenes first.

By action scenes in this day and age, because of Arnold Schwarzenegger's retirement as well as FPJ's death, actually means sex scenes.

By sex scenes in this day and age, because Seiko Films is virtually non-existent in our mainstream local movie world, actually means SPG-13 wholesomeness.


It also helped that John Lloyd and Angel look so good together.



It also helped that the film is a date movie targeted towards the youth, young couples as well as pseudo-couples - as the movie's creators assumes most are in this day and age

as evidenced by one of the lead star's pseudo-relationship with footballer Phil Younghusband;

"...nang tanungin kung ano na talaga ang real score sa pagitan nila, paputul-putol ang sagot ni Angel: "Magulo nga, e. Kapag tinanong na kasi ako... pero... gano'n na rin 'yon."

Nagtaka naman ang press nang sabihin pa ni Angel, "Kapag tinanong na ako, sabihan kita."
Paliwanag ni Angel, hindi kasi nila napag-uusapan ni Phil ang tungkol sa estado ng relasyon nila ngayon."


the on again, off again, then on-again relationship of John Lloyd with Shaina Magdayao;

Shaina Magdayao says her relationship with John Lloyd Cruz runs parallel to mature roles they portray



and the Tumblr posts of those who watched Unofficially Yours all of whom swear by their lovelives that the movie is an audio- visual tribute to their love lives.

akosijackjack:
The lines were so relatable


500daysandcounting:
Bottom line is: it was as if this movie was written solely for me. Everything was just so freaking relevant.


Wala kaming pinanghahawakan na kami or what basta ang alam ko masaya ako at siya (sana). I’ve learned na kaya kung sino mauna mainlove edi’ bahala na basta ewan. Ayoko na lang masaktan uli hindi kas malayong mangyari bahala na si God kung may plano siya na ipush ko ito.

Etu talaga ung usong status ng relationship ngayon ..
Ung tipong kayo , peru ndi nman talaga kayo .. doesn’t have any commitments but doing sweet things together . (kulang na lang ung langgamin na ..) ung tipong .. OO mahal niyo ang isa’t isa , “mahal kita” doon , “mahal din kita” dito . “I love you” dito , “I love you too” doon . peru walang anniversary or monthsary na involve . kase ndi nga kayo commited sa relationship dba ?! ung tipong.. laging magkasama , laging magkausap .. kung hindi nman , nanjan nman c Fb para sa chat .. pagka’out, todo tecs nman .. “kumain knb?” dito , “I miss you” doon .. more kiligin effect and doing special things with each other peru hindi nman kayo ..
Sa una lang yan masaya, kase more kilig pa ang drama .. ndi nman pwedeng puro saya lang . ganun lang ? Bigla mu na lang maiisip at a moment na .. “di ko na kaya . mahal na talaga kita . tayo na lang ? pwede ba ?”
in the other side .. when it comes to the point na dumistansya na ung isa ? syempre sasabihin mung ndi masakit . walang commitments kaya ndi ka masasaktan .. peru kapag nadama mu na .. may magagawa kba ? e ndi nman kayo diba ?





No wonder the long line of people we saw in Trinoma waiting to watch the movie were young couples.

Whether they were looking forward to be entertained or inspired I could only guess.

Unofficially Yours' aim, like all Star Cinema movies, is to be aspirational.

Who doesn't want to see 2 gorgeous people boinking on a large screen and hearing them spout lines we usually hear (or want to) in our real life.

As proof, seated at my right were 2 women reacting emphatically to the movie's lines:

““Aminin mo na Cess.”
“Bakit ganun? Bakit parang hindi ka nag-sasawang masaktan?”
“Hindi naman. Hindi lang ako napapagod magmahal.”
“Hindi ka napapagod?”
“Eh paminsan-minsan. Napapagod din, syempre.”
“Oh bakit ayaw mong tumigil?”
“Bakit ako titigil? Pwede naman akong huminto sandali.”
“Kahit ilang besas ka ng umasa? Masaktan?”
“Oo.” “Naniniwala ako na may nakalaan na tao para sa bawat isa sa atin.”


Anong masama sa sabaw? Masustansiya naman.
- John Lloyd
Akala mo kung sinong malaman, sabaw lang naman.
- Angel Locsin

“Sa isang daang libong bagay na pinipilit, may isang bagay diyan na hindi mo kayang tanggihan.”
-Mackie Galvez


Love? Lilimitahin ka lang niyan. Ang dami-daming magagawa kung hindi ka lilimitahan sa love na ‘yan. Higit sa lahat, paiiyakin ka lang niyan.



The reel lives of Angel and John Lloyd's characters cathartically fulfilled what the audience - and even Angel Locsin - could only hope for in their real lives,

with a song to match their current emotional state: "If You Asked Me To."

Is it just me or isnt Angel Locsin waiting to be asked too?





Because Unofficially Yours is a mainstream movie, it made it easy for Angel and John Lloyd to go beyond fuck-buddies.

The movie assumes that you do not want to see Angel or John Lloyd be dark, edgy and unromantic because life is already dark, edgy and real. The movie thinks you want and need to be lulled to believe and see the romance, illusion of a happy-forever-after after consistent casual sex.

Thus the (1st) reason why the movie is a box office hit.

Who doesn't want to see a friends-with-benefits dynamic evolve to real love?

I'm not the only one who thinks a FWB pseudo-relationship is unhealthy, right? Who in their healthy mind and heart wants to be someone's fuck buddy anyway? Not me. (At least, not anymore.) If you're a man, you do not have to answer this question.

Besides making the fuck-buddy idea romantic, the movie also made it appear as if it is Angel's character who wielded the most power, with John Lloyd giving the impression that he is the poor lad in waiting (for Angel to hand out sex and/or love in crumbs).

Minus the delusion, you can actually see that Angel's character is not in power in this dynamic. Though she thinks she is.

She thinks she is being liberal/progressively enlightened/strong/cool by fucking someone and then saying, "Kthanxbye" after.

What she is doing is acting like a dude. This is what dudes do. And she is pretending to be one. She is one-upping her ex by being better than him. Her decisions are reactions of anger at his betrayal.

Her relationship-decisions are filtered through this thought process: "I'll show him, no man could push me around. Not him, not anybody, not ever. I'll show him I'm tough. I'll play his game but by my rules. I'll be hypersexual, (which Angel doesnt know is always set up in favor of the dudes) and in the process deny my Self while I'm doing it."

What she doesnt know is she's doing it all to spite her ex. But she thinks she's doing it because she wants to.

She's drinking poison hoping that someone else will die (anger and resentment does that too) which is sort of equal to

not praying the rosary to the Virgin Mary because Mama Mary didnt fulfill your intentions. Not praying the rosary, `that'll show Mama Mary.' (Thanks to Martin Scorsese for this quote)

Because we deflect our rage, take it out on each other or ourselves, because we are terrified that if we take it out on the real target we may wind up alone



Angel / or any woman leaving after casual sex is every dude's dream. It saves him from cuddling, saves him from offering her drinks, meal, lunch, etc. Now he doesnt have to be pseudo-polite. She just exits just as she should.
She has served/fulfilled his need. Dude says to his self: Thank God.

She also thinks she is protecting herself from hurt by merely exchanging bodily fluids and not emotions.

She also thinks having a release receptacle and being someone's release receptacle is a mutually beneficial thing to do.

She also thinks she's saving her self from pain by compartmentalizing her entirety and distributing little pieces of these to someone.

She also thinks she is in control of her life

when she has actually been set up to think and act this way. She has also set herself up to act this way. Sure she has been in a lousy relationship and is no longer in it but she acts as if she still is or that every relationship will be that way. Her fear and anger are clouding her good sense.

She also thinks that John Lloyd's character is being nice by being a boy scout and volunteering details about - and a ticket too! - to Singapore, what he is actually doing is provoking Angel's guilt. He is manipulating her emotions in order for Angel's character to not just re-consider the SG offer but for her to still feel connected to him while and if she's already in SG.

Thus Angel's response: "Pinapahirapan mo ko eh!"

Girl, that is his point.

And it worked! See Angel open up her life and history in one fell swoop (credit goes to the writer for pouring all details in one cringing Oscar-moment - the writer is saving him/herself time by wasting ours).


The main reason why Star Cinema is currently the sole local film production company who can afford to punch out at least 1 movie per month is because it knows its target market --- females who drag their bf's/fb's; females who drag their female friends; females who want a John Lloyd in their life; females who want to be Angel Locsin, males who think they look like John Lloyd, males who want to ape John Lloyd's acting abilities and use it in real life to dupe a chick).

Do you want to know if you're like Angel Locsin? Marian Rivera? Kim Chiu? or KC Concepcion?

Take this test to find out: Which leading lady are you?
Because even if you dont become a movie star, you can always pretend you're the star in the movie in your mind.



See how the friends and co-workers of Ces and Mackie seem to live their lives only for the betterment of Ces and Mackie's love lives?

Thus the (2nd) reason why the movie is a box office hit.

Ces and Mackie's friends are two-dimensional characters because they are mere props to propel the story of Ces and Mackie forward. They are not supposed to have lives of their own unless these relate to Ces' and Mackie's. They're only there because Ces and Mackie are there . They're not needed unless they fawn, flatter, play up to Ces and Mackie. What do they care whether Ces and Mackie fuck or not/love or not. What's in it for them?

What's in it for them is everything. Their characters are designed to live solely for the main characters of that movie. Their reel lives are invested on it.

In real life, when you are using/looking at others as props to serve your purpose, when you think you're the star of your own show and the rest are mere extras and supporting characters, it's narcissism. When this is done in the movies, it's mainstream entertainment. When this is done between two mutually consenting adults - you-stroke-me-i-stroke-you - it's called friends-with-benefits/no-strings-attached/fuck buddies/ you two are being ethical sluts.


The (3rd) reason why the movie is a box office hit:

To be fair, isnt John Lloyd a dream for waiting hand in foot for Angel's sweet YES? Or so he seems.

Its a dream because shit like that cant be real. Even John Lloyd - in real life - aint like that. Ask Ruffa and now Shaina.

John Lloyd's character is acting like a chick and/or the way chicks want their dudes to act.

Star Cinema knows dudes dont watch romantic movies, even if Angel Locsin is there. Sure they'll watch Angel Locsin but not in a rom-com. Are you crazy????

Why watch Angel act when they can simply watch Angel Locsin.




Do you know why most of the female audience members found John Lloyd's character sooooooooooo adorable?

Because Mackie can mold his life to his partner's life. Statistically, so do most women!

If men do this, they could only do so for a month or two, the longest they can pretend to act like they mean it is a year. The rest of the time, they rely on the women's denial of him "changing" when he has in fact have become what he actually is.


Again. is it a coincidence that most of these Unofficially-Yours-related Tumblr posts are from women?

You could literally count in one hand the male species in this online population,


and would lose count at the self-sacrificial / ready-to-die-for-pseudo-love /ingrained codependence
themes coded in the psychological vocabulary on these posts:



iamcheesekate:
Naiyak ako sa part na sinabi ni John Lloyd (boyfriend ko, hahahahaha) na hindi siya dapat magalit, hindi siya dapat masaktan kasi daw wala naman siyang karapatan. Sakit naman nun..


Friends with benefits?...
...Pero bakit may mga taong mas gusto ang gantong status?
Kasi..
- MASAYA
- YUN FEELING MO KUMPLETO KA
- NAKUKUNTENTO KA KAHIT HANGGANG DUN LANG KAYO..
Kasi MASAYA KA …


bipolarbtch:
"Handa ako sa lahat, handa ako sa kaya niyang ibigay... At oo, kung mangyari man, handa akong masaktan." - Macky, Unofficially Yours
I’m sorry Macky slash my dearly beloved John Lloyd but I’d have to say that this is COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT. You may expect to get hurt, even know for sure that it will happen but no amount of awareness and preparation can ever make you ready for the pain. Pano ko alam?
Because I fucking said the exact same fucking thing and I still ended up getting hurt and crying.


Tngna feeling ko nung una ‘di ako makaka-relate pero sa huli, relate na relate ako sa Character ni Angel Locsin men. KV na nakakatawa :)
millelimeter:

pinaasa-sa-wala:
About sa movie. Maganda siya...kawawa din si Jl nung una dun kase sya ung taong wagas kung magmahal. gagwain nea lahat para sa taong un.



"Hindi nyo alam status nyo."

This last quote needs to be examined because it doesnt make sense. How can you not know your status? You only not know when you dont want to. Either both or one of you is afraid, one or both of you have a prior commitment, one or both of you is dysfunctional. Yes, dysfunctional. Now that you know, what are you going to do about it?



If you're in an unofficial relationship

and you're a female,

expect to be hurt,

be prepared for nothing and everything.


If you're in an unofficial relationship and your male, place your thoughts in the comments below, I'm interested to hear your side.

But I'm speaking to the females because I am one.

Ask yourself, if you're really that want-able, wonderful, fuck-able, love-able why isn't he with you?

Better question: Why are you with him?

If you think you're want-able, wonderful, fuck-able, love-able and he's not with you, why do you allow it?

Sure, you're afraid too. You cant risk having your heart hurt. But, being in a pseudo-relationship, isnt that a risk too?

You: It's a risk I can control. I know what Im getting into. Im in it for old time's sake. It's better than nothing while Im waiting for something.

Of course you can tell yourself that. But do know, even if youre in a pseudo-relationship, you're still waiting for nothing. The better risk is having nothing as you work on your self to be everything.

Be officially yourself first. After which, see if you'd want or even think about being someone's unofficial other.




Pop culture controls you even if you think you're separate from it. It is everywhere, from the clothes you wear to the language you use to the way you think. It is a viral pandemic that masks infection by pretending to be part of you. There's no cure. But if you know the structure of the virus, at least you can recognize the infection as not-you.

"No way, I'm not getting infected, I'm not exposing myself to all that trash. I'm going to think for myself."

That's the virus talking.
-TLP

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