Anatomy of a Gangnam Style Life: Lessons We Could All Learn from Bryanboy's Borrowed Glitter

I first heard of BryanBoy's blog when he was already semi-famous and Marc Jacobs has already named a bag after him.

He has also been featured on mainstream TV by (was it?) Jessica Soho and Studio 23.

I went to his blog to know what the fuss was about and was honestly amazed at the stats he was receiving, the ads he had and all his followers professing how much they heart him.

Who is this? I thought.

His humor was vulgar and crass. He could also make fun of himself. In fairness, his blog was entertaining.

Also, he gave the impression that shopping, other than blogging, was his full time job.

I couldnt help but ask - how could he afford a trip to Moscow? and all those branded stuff?

Nothing in his blog revealed anything about his family background or his job. There were also no pictures of his home or him at home. Pics he would post are of him decked out in fashionista garb standing at a fancy looking background.



I shrugged my shoulders and just assumed he wanted to keep things private and that maybe his family is moneyed - one of those buena familias who owned a hectare or two (or more) of land in Luzon,Visayas or Mindanao or all of the above.

Who else or how else could someone buy all the stuff he has and do all the things he claimed he does.

I also thought, good for him for being noticed by fashion icon Marc Jacobs.

Good for him that he is being appreciated more by foreign fans / foreign fashion icons / and now even a foreign TV show.

Good for him that he is appreciated more outside his home country than the PH - I also cant help but notice local fashionistas indifference towards his success.

Envious much? I thought. You want a bag named after you too? I thought.

Hah! I thought. A nobody locally just became a somebody outside the country.

Some people just cant handle that truth.

But wait, theres more truth to that actually.

And Rogue's Sep 2012 issue just confirmed the rumors as possible facts.



The interviews it had of BryanBoy's former friends also confirmed the possibility that he is sociopathic and narcissistic.

More than these, it also highlighted how easy it is to believe someone's lies / dupes and alleged cons specially if he/she/it/they have the fashionable bling to pseudo-prove it - to better make you believe it all as true.

And if the stories of his once-BFFs are true, note that BryanBoy's actions fall right smack on the patterns and signals we should all watch out for danger - as according to the author of The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker:

FORCED TEAMING

When it was to be revealed that BryanBoy was Chikatime,

"BryaBoy Yambao called van Straten "He told me, `Im so scared, I think Jenni will say it's us.' I told him, 'What do you mean? Im not part of anything. And why are you so paranoid when were not involved?"

From GDB's The Gift of Fear: "Forced teaming is an effective way to establish trust..because we're-in-the-same-boat attitude. Forced teaming is not about coincidence; it is intentional and directed, and it is one of the most sophisticated manipulations. The detectable signal of forced teaming is the projection of a shared purpose or experience where none exists: "Both of us" "Were some team" "How are we going to handle this" "Now weve done it."

Van Straten was not involved in Chikatime's creation but her being with BryanBoy made her a convenient excuse, it is as if her presence in BryanBoy's life was to serve as a red herring. Coincidentally, it seemed BryanBoy even used her and her home for his benefit. Branboy knew who to be friends with and whom he could mine his needs from.


LESSON LEARNED:

Unfortunately, it also helped that Van Straten didnt ask Bryanboy obvious questions of where he gets his money from or where he literally comes from. Either BryanBoy's charm or their 'friendship' served as effective smokes and mirrors to shield him from probing questions or Van Straten dismissed her intuition despite the red flags she admittedly saw and felt.

Also, she might have felt indebted to him as he was defending her from haters on her Chuvaness blog.

"Maybe I couldnt find anyone as brave as he was that would fight for me that time."




And this fits another danger signal:

LOAN SHARKING

The same way Van Straten almost paid BryanBoy - due to him defending her from haters - with her job and credibility, Brian Gorrell `paid' Bryanboy a roundtrip plane ticket to Australia.

All because BryanBoy made him a blogspot blog (which could be had for free) and a few blogposts to get it rolling.

The Gift of Fear: "He wanted to be allowed to help you because that would place you in his debt, and the fact that you owe a person something makes it hard to ask him to leave you alone. The more traditional loan shark gladly lends one amount but cruelly collects much more."


LESSON LEARNED:

It is extremely difficult to know a person's intention unless you have spent considerable time with him/her. Still, it is easy to not see the obvious specially when one's eyes are blinded with what this person did for you. The best thing one could do is to appreciate the help given but be aware of what de Becker calls "counterfeit charity" which is also known as "motive." Also, authentic help is given with no strings attached.




CHARM AND NICENESS

Despite the vulgarity and crassness of Bryanboy's blog, it is easy to see how he could amass friends, BFFs and even hang out with Marc Jacobs if he was not at all charming.

LESSON LEARNED:

The Gift of Fear: "Charm is amother overrated ability. Charm is almost always a directed instrument, which, like rapport building, has motive. To charm is to compel, to control by allure or attraction...`men whose acts are at direct variance with their words command no respect, and what they say has but little weight...' We live in an age of anonymous onetime encounters, and many people have become expert at the art of fast persuasion. Trust, formerly earned through actions, is now purchased with sleight of hand, and sleight of words."





Robert D. Hare, C.M., a researcher in the field of criminal psychology, developed the following checklist to diagnose psychopathy, narcissism and sociopathy.

Check the following which suits your experience with BryanBoy (or anyone else youve been in contact whom you sense possess the following):


Glibness/superficial charm

BryanBoy: "Am I terrible for worrying about what to wear to this year's Philippine Blog Awards tonight when my mum's having surgery later this afternoon? Hysterectomy or something. Pre-cancer if you must know. Blah blah yaddi yadda..Who knows if Im gonna win an award. Wish me (and my mum) some luck!"



Grandiose sense of self-worth

"Bryanboy: Le Superstar Fabuleux" anyone?


Pathological lying

Tina Daniac: "He would tell everyone he lived in Ayala Alabang..but he really lives in Tunasan Muntinlupa, near Bilibid Prison, n front of the talipapa."

"(He claims)..I stole his Chanel watch and shades. He even posted about it on his blog."


"(He)..told friends he studied in the exclusive private school Colegio San Agustin..upon checking..there are no records of (him) attending either of the two campuses."

@Momblogger claims @Bryanboy told him he was not Chikatime but Rogue's article claims "(Bryanboy) contacted (Gorrell) on Facebook and told him that he was the one who ran (Chikatime)."

Bryanboy: "There are times when I cannot help but wonder how FICTIONAL my life is. Looking back, I’ve had god knows how many moments and memories that are TOO GOOD (or perhaps too bad, too ker-aaazy, too this and that, too something something) TO BE TRUE. "



Cunning/manipulative

"(Bryanboy) allegedly asked Gorrell if he could borrow money to purchase a plane ticket to Australia..`but he never paid me back.'..He really took advantage of me - used me."



Lack of remorse or guilt, Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric), Callousness; lack of empathy

"..Bryanboy wanted to truly destroy everyone who ever treated him poorly...People like him have mild sociopathic tendencies and you better not get in his way. Revenge was his and he rocked it."

"Daniac said (Bryanboy) ejected her out so he could have the room for himself. `I walked out of the hotel in -2 degrees, with a high fever, crying with no cash with me because Bryan got all my money when he left that morning...At 6 am still outside, Daniac got a call from (Bryanboy) `He was screaming..Pick me up! Somebody ripped my P1M chinchilla jacket on the street."

Bryanboy: "But nothing beats this once-in-a-lifetime (i hope not!!) moment I’m about to share to you all. It’s been twelve hours and I’m still crying my face off. I’m literally on cloud nine! This is what tru fashin dedicashin dreams are made of." -- referring to the BB bag Marc Jacobs created for him. And then calling this same bag on Chikatime as the "Bulutong Bag."



Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

"Stick to your vision. Don't be a prisoner to what you have done but focus on what you'll do next." - Bryanboy



Factor 2: Case history "Socially deviant lifestyle"

"(Bryanboy) posted images of the men trying on his Dior fur coat and boots, and one of the guys on the couch, snorting what appeared to be cocaine. `Bad Russian' read his caption...`Guess what happened next?...posting an image of the men rolled in bed with him."



Parasitic lifestyle

Bryanboy: "Mind you, I only make friends with people who are capable of feeding me a liquid diet composing of vodka and champagne... oh and free heroin, too."


Impulsivity

"..An American LV executive presented to the guests a bag, dubbed the Extremely Rare Vison Monogramme Mink and Black Alligator Le Fabuleux, the flagship piece of the luxury label’s 2004 Fall/Winter Les Extraordinaires collection.
Made of mink, matte brass hardware, alligator trimmings, and lambskin interiors, the executive dubbed it “the finest bag ever created by Louis Vuitton.” It cost P750,000.
She had an idea.

“Bryan, do you want them to know who you are? Do you want to be famous?” she whispered. “I dare you—buy it.”

So, Bryan took out one of his many credit cards and bought the bag. Word spread of the purchase—and its purchaser—and soon photographers were swarming around him. Louis Vuitton executives approached to introduce themselves. Imee Marcos asked a salesperson: “Who is he?”




Are all these valid reasons for @Chuvaness to declare - re: Bryanboy - :"I find him very scary."?



LESSON LEARNED: One major reason why Bryanboy got away with what he got away with was not just his denials, it was the denials his own friends, BFFs and people he came in contact with practiced. Despite the inconsistencies, of things not adding up, of the lies, of the glaring red flags, they - like us and mostly everyone else - wanted to believe what they wanted to believe.

The GIft of Fear: "We deny because we're built to see what we want to see."


Apparently, Tim Yap, Divine Lee and others are still blinded by the bling-bling / ANTM / Tyra Banks / leather bags and all the moolah that comes with Bryanboy's fictional territory.



Another LESSON WE SHOULD ALL LEARN COMES FROM TITA OPRAH:

"When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. Live your life from truth and you will survive everything, everything, I believe even death. You will survive everything if you can live your life from the point of view of truth. That took me a while to get, pretending to be something I wasn't, wanting to be somebody I couldn't, but understanding deep inside myself when I was willing to listen, that my own truth and only my own truth could set me free."


We really should therefore believe what Bryanboy says about himself:


Bryanboy:

You only want to be my friend because I'm extremely good at pretending to be famous and fabulous. Mind you, I only make friends with people who are capable of feeding me a liquid diet composing of vodka and champagne... oh and free heroin, too.

Do I look like a fucking ATM Machine? Do I look like I have wads of cash coming out of my orifices? Stop asking me for money because I have NOTHING to give you other than an oreo cookie. I'm dirt poor and I'm practically living in poverty. Get a fucking job if you want money. Otherwise, take a shower, put on some fine clothes and prostitute yourself around the world. That's what I'm doing. Think about it -- free sex and free money. You get the best of both worlds.

I can't even buy myself a dove gray Hermès crocodile Birkin bag with pave diamonds let alone buy some land. I'm in my tweens and I still live with my familia de horreur (BY FORCE NOT BY CHOICE). Talk to the hand cause the mom who threatened suicide by xanax ain't listening. I'M POOR! Piss off and sell your real estate somewhere else. Try oh I dunno, eBay?


I always believed the best things in life are EXPENSIVE *BUT* FREE.


I AM SATAN INCARNATE!!! We're all going to hell anyway so why not enjoy our last remaining days on earth in drunken splendor? I love getting a lot of gifts or presents and I certainly don't mind if you take lots of my pictures because I'm one big, fat, brown camwhore but come on, please spare me from all your backdoor gossip because I don't deserve it.



Will the fashion world sit up and take notice? Did it when Naomi Campbell threw a phone at her househelp not once but was it twice? She plead guilty though. Did it when Kate Moss snorted cocaine?

Why would the fashion world care?

Gorell claims "(Bryanboy) brought..awareness to (Manila's) ridiculous and out-of-touch (social scene)."

Apparently, it is easy for Bryanboy to do this as this is akin to the pot calling the kettle black.