Anatomy of a Gangnam Style Life: Lessons We Could All Learn from Bryanboy's Borrowed Glitter

I first heard of BryanBoy's blog when he was already semi-famous and Marc Jacobs has already named a bag after him.

He has also been featured on mainstream TV by (was it?) Jessica Soho and Studio 23.

I went to his blog to know what the fuss was about and was honestly amazed at the stats he was receiving, the ads he had and all his followers professing how much they heart him.

Who is this? I thought.

His humor was vulgar and crass. He could also make fun of himself. In fairness, his blog was entertaining.

Also, he gave the impression that shopping, other than blogging, was his full time job.

I couldnt help but ask - how could he afford a trip to Moscow? and all those branded stuff?

Nothing in his blog revealed anything about his family background or his job. There were also no pictures of his home or him at home. Pics he would post are of him decked out in fashionista garb standing at a fancy looking background.



I shrugged my shoulders and just assumed he wanted to keep things private and that maybe his family is moneyed - one of those buena familias who owned a hectare or two (or more) of land in Luzon,Visayas or Mindanao or all of the above.

Who else or how else could someone buy all the stuff he has and do all the things he claimed he does.

I also thought, good for him for being noticed by fashion icon Marc Jacobs.

Good for him that he is being appreciated more by foreign fans / foreign fashion icons / and now even a foreign TV show.

Good for him that he is appreciated more outside his home country than the PH - I also cant help but notice local fashionistas indifference towards his success.

Envious much? I thought. You want a bag named after you too? I thought.

Hah! I thought. A nobody locally just became a somebody outside the country.

Some people just cant handle that truth.

But wait, theres more truth to that actually.

And Rogue's Sep 2012 issue just confirmed the rumors as possible facts.



The interviews it had of BryanBoy's former friends also confirmed the possibility that he is sociopathic and narcissistic.

More than these, it also highlighted how easy it is to believe someone's lies / dupes and alleged cons specially if he/she/it/they have the fashionable bling to pseudo-prove it - to better make you believe it all as true.

And if the stories of his once-BFFs are true, note that BryanBoy's actions fall right smack on the patterns and signals we should all watch out for danger - as according to the author of The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker:

FORCED TEAMING

When it was to be revealed that BryanBoy was Chikatime,

"BryaBoy Yambao called van Straten "He told me, `Im so scared, I think Jenni will say it's us.' I told him, 'What do you mean? Im not part of anything. And why are you so paranoid when were not involved?"

From GDB's The Gift of Fear: "Forced teaming is an effective way to establish trust..because we're-in-the-same-boat attitude. Forced teaming is not about coincidence; it is intentional and directed, and it is one of the most sophisticated manipulations. The detectable signal of forced teaming is the projection of a shared purpose or experience where none exists: "Both of us" "Were some team" "How are we going to handle this" "Now weve done it."

Van Straten was not involved in Chikatime's creation but her being with BryanBoy made her a convenient excuse, it is as if her presence in BryanBoy's life was to serve as a red herring. Coincidentally, it seemed BryanBoy even used her and her home for his benefit. Branboy knew who to be friends with and whom he could mine his needs from.


LESSON LEARNED:

Unfortunately, it also helped that Van Straten didnt ask Bryanboy obvious questions of where he gets his money from or where he literally comes from. Either BryanBoy's charm or their 'friendship' served as effective smokes and mirrors to shield him from probing questions or Van Straten dismissed her intuition despite the red flags she admittedly saw and felt.

Also, she might have felt indebted to him as he was defending her from haters on her Chuvaness blog.

"Maybe I couldnt find anyone as brave as he was that would fight for me that time."




And this fits another danger signal:

LOAN SHARKING

The same way Van Straten almost paid BryanBoy - due to him defending her from haters - with her job and credibility, Brian Gorrell `paid' Bryanboy a roundtrip plane ticket to Australia.

All because BryanBoy made him a blogspot blog (which could be had for free) and a few blogposts to get it rolling.

The Gift of Fear: "He wanted to be allowed to help you because that would place you in his debt, and the fact that you owe a person something makes it hard to ask him to leave you alone. The more traditional loan shark gladly lends one amount but cruelly collects much more."


LESSON LEARNED:

It is extremely difficult to know a person's intention unless you have spent considerable time with him/her. Still, it is easy to not see the obvious specially when one's eyes are blinded with what this person did for you. The best thing one could do is to appreciate the help given but be aware of what de Becker calls "counterfeit charity" which is also known as "motive." Also, authentic help is given with no strings attached.




CHARM AND NICENESS

Despite the vulgarity and crassness of Bryanboy's blog, it is easy to see how he could amass friends, BFFs and even hang out with Marc Jacobs if he was not at all charming.

LESSON LEARNED:

The Gift of Fear: "Charm is amother overrated ability. Charm is almost always a directed instrument, which, like rapport building, has motive. To charm is to compel, to control by allure or attraction...`men whose acts are at direct variance with their words command no respect, and what they say has but little weight...' We live in an age of anonymous onetime encounters, and many people have become expert at the art of fast persuasion. Trust, formerly earned through actions, is now purchased with sleight of hand, and sleight of words."





Robert D. Hare, C.M., a researcher in the field of criminal psychology, developed the following checklist to diagnose psychopathy, narcissism and sociopathy.

Check the following which suits your experience with BryanBoy (or anyone else youve been in contact whom you sense possess the following):


Glibness/superficial charm

BryanBoy: "Am I terrible for worrying about what to wear to this year's Philippine Blog Awards tonight when my mum's having surgery later this afternoon? Hysterectomy or something. Pre-cancer if you must know. Blah blah yaddi yadda..Who knows if Im gonna win an award. Wish me (and my mum) some luck!"



Grandiose sense of self-worth

"Bryanboy: Le Superstar Fabuleux" anyone?


Pathological lying

Tina Daniac: "He would tell everyone he lived in Ayala Alabang..but he really lives in Tunasan Muntinlupa, near Bilibid Prison, n front of the talipapa."

"(He claims)..I stole his Chanel watch and shades. He even posted about it on his blog."


"(He)..told friends he studied in the exclusive private school Colegio San Agustin..upon checking..there are no records of (him) attending either of the two campuses."

@Momblogger claims @Bryanboy told him he was not Chikatime but Rogue's article claims "(Bryanboy) contacted (Gorrell) on Facebook and told him that he was the one who ran (Chikatime)."

Bryanboy: "There are times when I cannot help but wonder how FICTIONAL my life is. Looking back, I’ve had god knows how many moments and memories that are TOO GOOD (or perhaps too bad, too ker-aaazy, too this and that, too something something) TO BE TRUE. "



Cunning/manipulative

"(Bryanboy) allegedly asked Gorrell if he could borrow money to purchase a plane ticket to Australia..`but he never paid me back.'..He really took advantage of me - used me."



Lack of remorse or guilt, Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric), Callousness; lack of empathy

"..Bryanboy wanted to truly destroy everyone who ever treated him poorly...People like him have mild sociopathic tendencies and you better not get in his way. Revenge was his and he rocked it."

"Daniac said (Bryanboy) ejected her out so he could have the room for himself. `I walked out of the hotel in -2 degrees, with a high fever, crying with no cash with me because Bryan got all my money when he left that morning...At 6 am still outside, Daniac got a call from (Bryanboy) `He was screaming..Pick me up! Somebody ripped my P1M chinchilla jacket on the street."

Bryanboy: "But nothing beats this once-in-a-lifetime (i hope not!!) moment I’m about to share to you all. It’s been twelve hours and I’m still crying my face off. I’m literally on cloud nine! This is what tru fashin dedicashin dreams are made of." -- referring to the BB bag Marc Jacobs created for him. And then calling this same bag on Chikatime as the "Bulutong Bag."



Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

"Stick to your vision. Don't be a prisoner to what you have done but focus on what you'll do next." - Bryanboy



Factor 2: Case history "Socially deviant lifestyle"

"(Bryanboy) posted images of the men trying on his Dior fur coat and boots, and one of the guys on the couch, snorting what appeared to be cocaine. `Bad Russian' read his caption...`Guess what happened next?...posting an image of the men rolled in bed with him."



Parasitic lifestyle

Bryanboy: "Mind you, I only make friends with people who are capable of feeding me a liquid diet composing of vodka and champagne... oh and free heroin, too."


Impulsivity

"..An American LV executive presented to the guests a bag, dubbed the Extremely Rare Vison Monogramme Mink and Black Alligator Le Fabuleux, the flagship piece of the luxury label’s 2004 Fall/Winter Les Extraordinaires collection.
Made of mink, matte brass hardware, alligator trimmings, and lambskin interiors, the executive dubbed it “the finest bag ever created by Louis Vuitton.” It cost P750,000.
She had an idea.

“Bryan, do you want them to know who you are? Do you want to be famous?” she whispered. “I dare you—buy it.”

So, Bryan took out one of his many credit cards and bought the bag. Word spread of the purchase—and its purchaser—and soon photographers were swarming around him. Louis Vuitton executives approached to introduce themselves. Imee Marcos asked a salesperson: “Who is he?”




Are all these valid reasons for @Chuvaness to declare - re: Bryanboy - :"I find him very scary."?



LESSON LEARNED: One major reason why Bryanboy got away with what he got away with was not just his denials, it was the denials his own friends, BFFs and people he came in contact with practiced. Despite the inconsistencies, of things not adding up, of the lies, of the glaring red flags, they - like us and mostly everyone else - wanted to believe what they wanted to believe.

The GIft of Fear: "We deny because we're built to see what we want to see."


Apparently, Tim Yap, Divine Lee and others are still blinded by the bling-bling / ANTM / Tyra Banks / leather bags and all the moolah that comes with Bryanboy's fictional territory.



Another LESSON WE SHOULD ALL LEARN COMES FROM TITA OPRAH:

"When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. Live your life from truth and you will survive everything, everything, I believe even death. You will survive everything if you can live your life from the point of view of truth. That took me a while to get, pretending to be something I wasn't, wanting to be somebody I couldn't, but understanding deep inside myself when I was willing to listen, that my own truth and only my own truth could set me free."


We really should therefore believe what Bryanboy says about himself:


Bryanboy:

You only want to be my friend because I'm extremely good at pretending to be famous and fabulous. Mind you, I only make friends with people who are capable of feeding me a liquid diet composing of vodka and champagne... oh and free heroin, too.

Do I look like a fucking ATM Machine? Do I look like I have wads of cash coming out of my orifices? Stop asking me for money because I have NOTHING to give you other than an oreo cookie. I'm dirt poor and I'm practically living in poverty. Get a fucking job if you want money. Otherwise, take a shower, put on some fine clothes and prostitute yourself around the world. That's what I'm doing. Think about it -- free sex and free money. You get the best of both worlds.

I can't even buy myself a dove gray Hermès crocodile Birkin bag with pave diamonds let alone buy some land. I'm in my tweens and I still live with my familia de horreur (BY FORCE NOT BY CHOICE). Talk to the hand cause the mom who threatened suicide by xanax ain't listening. I'M POOR! Piss off and sell your real estate somewhere else. Try oh I dunno, eBay?


I always believed the best things in life are EXPENSIVE *BUT* FREE.


I AM SATAN INCARNATE!!! We're all going to hell anyway so why not enjoy our last remaining days on earth in drunken splendor? I love getting a lot of gifts or presents and I certainly don't mind if you take lots of my pictures because I'm one big, fat, brown camwhore but come on, please spare me from all your backdoor gossip because I don't deserve it.



Will the fashion world sit up and take notice? Did it when Naomi Campbell threw a phone at her househelp not once but was it twice? She plead guilty though. Did it when Kate Moss snorted cocaine?

Why would the fashion world care?

Gorell claims "(Bryanboy) brought..awareness to (Manila's) ridiculous and out-of-touch (social scene)."

Apparently, it is easy for Bryanboy to do this as this is akin to the pot calling the kettle black.

My Review of Star Cinema's The Mistress

Yes, the movie aint out yet.

Yes. I may be spouting more than I can actually spit. (such vulgar imagery, ew.)

So I am reviewing the movie's story and characters based on its 3-minute trailer

because the trailer might be better than the movie - a harsh judgment but it has happened before.


In the trailer, we first see JD (or JLC in real life) catch a glimpse of Bea or The Mistress browsing books in National Book Store. It's raining. Naturally, Bea's so worried she'll get wet or wont be able to go home dry or that Manila's streets will be flooded by a mere drizzle but all this dude - who is so taken by her - cares about is for Sari to have coffee with him.

The Mistress slaps him with a witty "No."

But did JD stop?

Of course not.




"Hah!"

JD smirks.

"I'll get her."

"I will win this game."

"Hah! I just got more excited bitch. I'll make you want me."

"Contrary to what you think, this is more about me than it is about you girl."

"Im going to play a game. And you will be in it. Youll want to be in it. Youll beg me to be in it."

"Just you wait."

Friends, that is what JD's smirk is all about.

He wants her not because he likes her - that's a red herring. He wants her because she has something he wants to have. And he saw enough of her vulnerability to think there is a good chance he can have her as long as he says the right things, does the right stuff - preferably, these should be things she wants to hear and things she wants him to do (but this is only for show and he knows this ---- but SHE doesnt).

This is all about him even if the movie's title is The Mistress.

Go watch the movie and you will see how a woman is manipulated to "like" a dude - a dude that is not good for her even if he is as charming as John Lloyd (on a side note: if John Lloyd the actor is not careful with his weight and receding hairline, he might end up looking like Wally Bayola - not that there's anything wrong with Wally but JLC's supposed to be a matinee idol right and not a comedian?).


Someone as callous as JD (yes he is callous and disrespectful) will not let The Mistress' NO stop him.

Why should he? He doesnt care about her. He just wants her. She is a game to him, a game he must win.


And that is why he is now obsessing about her.

Yes she is attractive. But for him, love doesnt begin with attraction, it starts with obsession.






That is why he thought of her name for an entire week. He is trying to figure how he can slither his way in her mind, heart, being. He is studying how he can manipulate and push her buttons.

See how he forces himself on her personal space?



Can he see her fear? or Can he at least see that she is intimidated? Does he not care that she is afraid and intimidated by his actions?

Yes he can see her fear but he doesnt care -- Duh. That's what he wants her to feel and be. Slowly, her boundaries are being crumbled. It will only take a little bit more prodding and priming and he will have her.






His objective is to put her in a corner -- literally and figuratively -




until all she could do is surrender to him, give in to him, give in to his wants, put down her boundaries and voila!




And Sari's clueless workmates have no idea what she is in for because all they could see is his charm.





But Sari could see more ---- that is why she is holding onto her NO.





She has seen this before somewhere.

Someplace, someone has been like this to her she just cant put her finger on whom.

Enter The Benefactor.





Love is fueled by attachment.







To the Benefactor, Sari is the young ingenue he has molded to cater to his whims, wishes and desires. She is now attached to him in a way he knows how but she doesnt really know why ----- or maybe she does, she just cant figure out how she could disentangle herself from him.

So JD is helping her to disentangle from him so she could fall straight to his web. From one old manipulator, she is falling onto the arms of another, albeit a younger one.

That is why he is always encroaching on her space, see.



He is always on her face so she will not see him for what he really is. A stalker, semi-psychopath with major narcissistic tendencies.


And his in-your-face machinations finally work.

Now, she is considering his presence in her life.

"Why not?" she thinks.



"He's not giving up. That means he loves me right?"

"That means he'll do anything for me."


Now she is willing to supply him with his needs or at least -- she is considering it.

He has won half the battle.

He is not into this because she can feel her. He is into this because she is a source of supply - be it sex, pseudolove or both.





She is now under his spell.




And it would now take very little to push her towards him.




He is winning the game.




But Sari's sense of self is tied to her benefactor see. That is why she is asking his permission to pseudolove JD.

She doesnt know she is in a prison of her own making and all she has to do is say NO to both and YES to her Self.






If the movie will show how she achieves this then it is worth watching.

But if it further romanticizes her confusion and JD's psychopathic/stalker & narcissistic-personality-disorder personality by letting her end up with him

and/or if it lets The Benefactor end up with his Wife -- as mainstream movies usually do -- then this movie (if you like your illusions and delusions being cathartically fulfilled right before your eyes) is for you.


If you're a dude with no identity of your own and you want to get tips on how to snag a beautiful confused girl with low self esteem, watch this movie and follow JD's rude moves.

If you're a woman who feels Sari's predicament, ask yourself why?

Also --- if you are charmed and moved by JD's efforts to win her attention and if you find someone who callously disregards a woman's boundaries likable, romantic -- ask yourself "Why?"

Also, ask yourself why you are even wishing a JD in your life?


Some Youtube comments:

i bet this will be a must seen movie... i love the trailer... i wanna be the mistress:))
Marichi Juliano 3 days ago



"layuan mo asawa ko. tagalog yan para maintindihan mo" - my god! what a line! magamit nga pag nagkaron ng kabit jowa ko lol
djess14 1 day ago



Please know that in real life, JD deserves no decent woman's attention or love because:

1 He doesnt heed a woman's NO - a sign of disrespect / stubborness / callousness / selfishness

Remember that "Actions are more eloquent and credible than words...a person who chooses not to hear (your NO) is trying to control you." Gavin de Becker The Gift of Fear

2 He violates a person's boundaries

3 He is arrogant

4 He cares only for himself and what he wants

5 He is into the art of fast persuasion - the faster he could convince her, the less she could see behind his mask and illicit agenda

His romantic moves, his gifts, his desire to prove to her that he is a better lover, his literal in-your-face moves to Sari are all done with the intent to distract her from the obviously simple context:

His feelings for her (if there are any) isnt real. It comes from his desire to win the game. To have her. To get her to do what he wants. She is his fix. He doesnt think of her as a person, she thinks of her as someone he could control, manipulate.

"He used catchy details to be perceived as someone familiar, someone she could trust. She knew him artificially."
Gavin de Becker in The Gift of Fear




And these I got just from watching the trailer.


What about The Benefactor then? Should Sari stay with him?

The Benefactor is what JD will be when he gets old.

Sari is in a lose-lose situation with them both.

If this movie will have a sequel and Sari chooses JD, JD will become The Benefactor and Sari will become The Wife and a younger actress will be the Mistress 2.



Will this movie be a hit?

Maybe these YouTube comments will help us know:




Pwede ba..kayong mga pepenos...linisin nio muna yang mga nagkalat na basuura nio...Turuan nio yang mga kababayan nio na HINDI anak ng anak na sanhi ng pagdaami ng squatters at basuura..kaya laalo pumapangit yang bnsa nio eh..Itong pelikula na to ay REPLEXION lng ng 1 porsiento ng lipunan..habang karamihan..isang kahig isang tuka...npka PRETENTIOUS niong mga pepeno..dapat AASIKASUHIN nio muna yang bnsa nio-IMBIIS na nagpapangap kayo samga ganiang klaseng pelikula..kakatawa kayo!!
JosephGibblet13 2 days ago



God ganda nito..ang lupit ng mga lines....galing...
ulygen21 2 days ago


nice.. based on reaLity LOL :)))
Eileen Gabriel 3 days ago


my gosh,its one of the best movie i will ever see..
so touching..people are really doing their best to
get the person they love..she is so brave. ang galing nila bea and john..
leizelxiah 3 days ago



i like this movie, a must watch! atleast may spank, kakaiba naman for bea and jL.:)
jnaella 3 days ago


your comment just shows how shallow minded you are.
SuperMhyk in reply to MXbrunoMX135 (Show the comment) 3 days ago


MXbrunoMX135 commented 3 days ago
dapat kasi di na gumagawa ng ganitong klaseng movie.. kaya dumarami ang gumagawa ng mali kasi akala nila nagiging tama dahil ginawan nga ng movie.. hahays..




My bet is that yes it will be a hit.

God help us all.




Wasnt there a movie like this already made starring Dindo Fernando, Vilma Santos and Hilda Koronel?
WTF?!



Oh wait, The Mistress is a "Love-Square" (if I have P10 for everytime I heard this when I was in Star Cinema, I would be a millionaire by now). Glad they finally made a "Love-Square" movie, that'll stop them for saying this 10,000 times more.

Bakit Ayaw Umamin ni Tito Sen, Bow.

Dear Tito Sen,


Pans nyo ko mula pa noong dikit-dikit kayo nina Vic and Joey.




Actualley, mas pans ako nina Vic and Joey pero nandyan na rin kayo kaya, sige na nga, pans nyo na rin ako.

Actualley ulit, binoto ko kayo para maging senador.


May anti-drug anik anik kasi kayo di ba?

Kaya, bongga. Ayun, nadala ako sa ache-che nyo kaya boto to da max ako.



Malay ko ba ser na nangongopya kayong totoo.

Akala ko pang-Iskul-Bukol lang yung arte nyong parang gago.


Totoo pala.


Nye!!!






Sa atin atin lang eto ser.

Nasa Eat Bulaga pa lang kayo, sabi ng tita ko (sumalangit nawa ang kanyang kaluluwa) mayabang daw kayo. Kasi nanonood sya ng Eat Bulaga, sabi niya napanood nya raw kayo na nabasaan ng relo dahil sa isang game portion nyo na may H2O.

Aba, sinabi nyo daw yung presyo ng relo. Pati brand yata. Arogante nyo daw senor. Pero, malay ko ba.

Chikiting pa lang ako nun. Anong malay at pake ko kung mayabang kayo.


Fast forward sa ngayon.

Nagtatalumpati kayo sa Senado.

Anlayo ng naabot nyo ser, in fairness.

Dati nag-to-toning lang kayo.





At nag-ba-bate. Ang galing nyo din umarte.



NOVA VILLA: Ano ginagawa mo?

Tres Musketeros 1: Nag-babate ho.



NOVA VILLA: Nagbabate? Mamaya ako magbabate.

Tres Musketeros 1: Wag na ho, baka di ho kayo sanay eh.



NOVA VILLA: Oy sanay ako mag-bate. Kahit ako mag-isa rito ako nagbabate.

Tres Musketeros 1: Wag na ho, Ako na, para tuloy-tuloy na.

NOVA VILLA: Di ka marunong humawak eh. Di ganyan pag-bate.



NOVA VILLA: Ganyan, ganyan paghawak sa tinidor.




Ngayon, sa Senado na kayo umaarte.

With matching tears pa talaga. Totoong bongga!


Pero kasi naman, mangongopya na lang kayo, sa blog pa.

Sabihin nyo ng kasalanan ng writer nyo. Ok lang.

Pero, bistado na, ayaw umamin pa?!


At inulit pa!!!

At para lumusot, Tinagalog para mahirap i-googels. Wala nga namang speech na gawa sa ibang bansa na sinulat sa Tagalog.

Saka ser, tinext lang sa inyo yung speech nyo?

Ano kayo, gago? Basta basta na lang kayo maglalagay ng kung ano-ano sa speech nyo dahil tinext lang ng kung sino?

Ano kami gago? Maniniwala sa inyo?


Di naman kayo nag-ta-Tough Hits, bat kayo nag-ta-translate?



Ang pagkakaintindi ko sa pag-ta-translate nyo ng mga kanta mula sa ibang wika pa-Tagalog eh pagiging subersibo.

Nakakatawa kapag iniiba nyo lyrics ng kanta ng iba at ginagawa nyong inyo.

Gets ko ser ang komedi kelangan may ni-rereact-an para magkaroon at maka-gawa ng nakakatawa.


Pero, bat ganun?

Mga sinabi ng iba, inaangkin nyong inyo?


Ayaw nyo pa aminin maski nasa harap na ng pagmumukha nyo.

Pati asawa at anak nyo sumali na sa gulo.

Pati 10 Commandments na nananahimik nadamay tuloy.


Kung mag-explain na lang kaya kayo before you complain, ika nga ni Tito Joey.


Tito Sen, Akala nyo ba nasa showbiz pa rin kayo na pwde mag-deny to death sa mga issue na pinupukol sa inyo?

Parang Lolit Solis lang peg. o Willie Revillame much?

Wala na kayo sa showbiz ser, pero pwede kayong bumalik dun pag wala na kayo sa Senado.


Mas maganda mag-translate ng English to Tagalog dun, mas totoong kwela pa. Di po ba?



Sa showbiz lang po lusot pangongopya.

Sa showbiz lang po pwede mag deny to death.

Sa showbiz pwde makipag-plastikan.

Sa senado, kasi may kebs mga tao sa ginagawa nyo, malamang di ho nila kayo ganun kadali tatantanan.

Saka kasi may googels na rin. Lagot.

This Dude Would Cut Her Hand Off If He Could

If you do not find this creepy and instead think this commercial is romantic, sweet and so you wish someone could hold your hand the way this dude is holding this woman's hand,

then this commercial is for you.

Ask yourself why you like this commercial and why you agree with its aspirational intent.



Because all I see is a dude obsessed with a woman's (fill in the appropriate word here)

and won't let it go even if the woman has better things to do than have her hand fondled, caressed, held for 24/7 by a dude who has nothing else to do but hold her hand even if she doesn't want him to anymore.

Just because he is obsessed with her hand does not mean he likes / loves or respects her.

He just wants her hand.