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This is old news but it's something we could all learn something from.
Is there a John Lloyd in your life?
Are you acting the way Ruffa is acting?
Do you feel as "insecure" as Shaina?
A disclaimer: the views and opinions expressed on this post are based on details, news which are readily available on mainstream and social media. None of these details are invented and so are appropriately referenced as necessary (and if possible).
The story went: Ruffa and John Lloyd became a couple (which they never admitted) after they worked together in the show Betty La Fea. They were even spotted together at a hotel in L.A. in 2009 but they still admitted to nothing.
In 2010, John Lloyd is now being publicly seen and linked with Shaina. He admits his relationship with Shaina but denies contacting or still calling Ruffa. But Ruffa confirms - and Dr. Vicky Belo too - that John Lloyd is still calling her. John Lloyd releases a statement to the press that he will stay away from Ruffa. Ruffa exclaims that John Lloyd should walk his talk and to `fess up and stop with his "indecisions."
In 2011, John Lloyd and Shaina celebrate their 1st year anniversary. On a bday party of another celebrity, Ruffa, Shaina and John Lloyd meet. Ruffa says she received an angry text from Shaina but Shaina claims it was Ruffa who texted her first. Ruffa tells the couple to leave her alone. John Lloyd and Shaina allow themselves to be interviewed about the incident. Ruffa reveals that John Lloyd is a drunkard. Ruffa now claims that the couple are no longer bothering her.
See ABS-CBN's interesting interactive timeline of the issue - because they care enough to give us the very best.
Minus the details, the summary of the story goes: guy is in a relationship with girl1 but never admits to it. He proceeds to be in a relationship with girl2 but is still holding on to girl1 - but never admits to it. Girl2 is confused and bewildered guy can't let go of girl1 and feels insecure about herself and/or the status of their relationship. Girl2 gets angry at girl1 not at guy. Guy escapes the cat fight and washes his hands off the incident. Girl1 gets back at guy by revealing to the public that boy-next-door is actually a drunk and a womanizer. Girl1 claims guy and girl2 is no longer bothering her.
And the lessons we could all learn from @iloveruffag, Shaina and John Lloyd are:
11 Be wary of a man who has a pattern of having a string of ex-girlfriends he cannot seem to let go off.
Why?
First off, there is nothing wrong when a dude is friends with his ex. There is something wrong when the dude is still extracting supply from his ex and is using friendship as a convenient guise to do so.
When a dude is addicted to the supply he gets to receive from an ex-gf, he will continuously and constantly communicate with her as long as an ex-gf is giving him what he wants. His constant calls / communication is an attempt to hook you still, to keep you hooked, to hold onto you
not because "Iba ka magmahal,"
not because you are special,
not because you are the only one who understands him,
not because you're different,
not because you have that unique one-of-a kind something that keeps him coming back for more,
not because you can give him something his current gf can't give him,
it's because you're still accepting his call and giving him attention = supply.
It's because the man is an addict.
It's because the man cannot help himself -- not because you're gorgeous, loving, yummy --
it's because he cannot help himself.
You are his dealer / supplier.
And if you stop supplying. He will stop taking his fix from you and he will jump to someone else.
You are expendable to him.
You are not an individual to him - you're just a source of whatever it is he needs to feel full, to feel high.
Do this: stop giving him what he wants. Cut off your ties with him. Sever it. STOP CONTACT.
If he knows he cannot get something from you, if he can no longer get what he wants from you, he won't care for you because he never has. He will jump to the next one who can and wants to give him supply.
We can only guess though if this news article is true or not and how half-meant is Willie Revillame's question to John Lloyd at 3:33, "Pano mo napapagsabay-sabay?"
2 Be wary of a man who has a pattern of not defending / who does not stand up for the women he has or has had a relationship with.
This should be taken as a sign that the relationship will highly likely get ugly. When a man does this, this means he only values himself more than he values his partner = he is selfish = self-centered = is more than willing to hurt someone else for his own benefit / gain.
This alone indicates there is no partnership in the first place, if you think there is - the pseudo-partnership is seriously damaged or is in the brink of destruction.
3 Be wary of a man who gives you a warm hug but only does so in exchange for sex, your attention or "love."
Any act of "kindness" or "love"
any "gift"
any "token"
must be taken as it is - an act of kindness/love, a gift, a token.
Do not equate it with a genuine gesture of change, apology, regret, shame or guilt.
To be able to know if these "acts," tokens or gifts are sincere, the least you can do is express and give your appreciation - NO MORE - NO LESS and NOTHING ELSE. If he expects more than this, he is expecting a business transaction and not an authentic, sincere heart to heart interaction.
Remember, just because he did ABC does not mean/ it does not oblige you to do XYZ.
4 Just because he's not physically hurting you does not mean he's not abusing you. If he is abusing you and you're allowing it, you are abusing YOU too.
is equal to: "Hindi naman kelangang pahalagahan niya ako, ok lang yun. Kung hindi niya aaminin ang papel ko sa buhay niya, hindi issue yun. Sino ba ako naman ako. Kung wala akong kwenta sa kanya, ok lang. Pwde pa rin naman nya akong tawagan kahit kelan nya gusto. Lagi pa rin akong nandito para sa kanya. Magkaibigan pa rin kami."
is equal to: "Okay na yung lasenggero kesa nambubugbog."
5 If you feel "insecure," find out if your insecurity is a long-standing issue you have with your self or is it something you feel has been recently brought out by something or someone.
Remember though that nothing or no one could make you feel insecure without your permission.
6 In the words of Tita Oprah: "If someone tells you who they are, believe them." Do NOT give him/her the benefit of the doubt because you have just received a GOLDEN gift straight from the horse's mouth.
Remember to treasure the knowledge others give to you freely and act on this knowledge. This is heaven's gift to help you make the choices that is right for you.
Have you learned anything from Ruffa, Shaina or John Lloyd? Share naman `jan.
"The Wizards Project (formerly called the Diogenes Project) was a research project conducted by Paul Ekman and Maureen O'Sullivan that studied the ability of people to detect lies told by others. The project was originally named after the Greek philosopher who would look into people's faces using a lamp, claiming to be looking for an honest man."
Paul Ekman is a psychologist who has been a pioneer in the study of emotions and their relation to facial expressions.
****
Note that the Truth Wizard I asked lives in - and is from - the US, speaks English and does not understand the Filipino language.
She therefore has to rely only on facial expressions shown by Ramona Bautista on the vid below.
I asked what she could discern from Ramona Bautista's facial expressions. I explained that in the video below, Ramona is describing what she saw when her brother was murdered.
With EyesForLies permission, she observes - absent of any translation - that Ramona Bautista is "emotionally dull" -- not a natural thing to be after witnessing the murder of a sibling. She said she had to google Ramona Bautsita's name to know if Ramona was indeed talking about a murder and found it interesting that Ramona is being tagged as a suspect.
EyesforLies is a Truth Wizard. According to her blog, she "has a 97.3% accuracy rate (to date) after identifying truth and deception in 37/38 people before the truth was known by watching media clips. Eyes for Lies is not psychic."
She relies on subtle facial expressions, microexpressions, verbal cues and a host of other minute details the average person mostly cannot see, usually dismiss or conveniently explain away.
"...we don't know why they're so good...they're uncanny...They don't miss anything. Every aspect of your speech, mannerism, what you're doing with your hands. They're continuing to generate hypotheses as they go along. "
If a murder did not happen, you'd think she's telling the plot of an action movie.
I can't help but think that this is her audition tape for Pinoy Big Brother.
Is that why the related videos shown by YouTube are also PBB-related?
Why does she pause at 1:04? when telling the story of how a man is standing at the door of his brother's room?
What is she trying to remember "correctly?"
When she says, "Hindi ko iniwang bukas yung pinto. Hindi po ako nagbukas." this is probably true
"Hindi ko trabahong i lock ung pinto dahil hindi ko naman alam yun e."
"Si Janelle po ang katabi ng pinto. Dapat sya po ang maglock."
It is as if she is cleansing herself from sin and that it was whoever opened the door who was at fault for the murder because the one who opened the door welcomed the perpetrator.
"..andun yung lalake sa pintuan nagulat po ako."
No she was not startled because her voice does not say so, it seems she has been expecting the man-by-the-door to appear. Also, that sentence is awkward.
"..andun yung lalake sa pintuan nagulat po ako."
That statement shows she is trying to remember something from the memory of what she saw and not from what she felt when she saw it - if indeed she was authentically startled. If she really was "nagulat," won't she or anyone naturally / normally say:
"..nagulat ako...may lalake sa pintuan."
Why did she say
"..andun YUNG lalake.."?
What's the difference when you refer to someone as "Yung lalake.." (doesn't this suggest familiarity?)
compared to "May lalake.."?
Why do I have the feeling that empathy does not run in the Revilla family.
To be fair, Ramona Bautista is so lucky to not have been hurt by the perpetrator. She really should thank his brother for "saving her life."
It is also fair to say that she probably did not drink the appropriate amount of milk when she was growing up because of the evident memory gaps in her statement as published by Pep.ph on November 4.
Her body language in the news video below contradicts Ramona's own statement in the same video where she says "Her conscience is clear."
Why is she covering her face with her hair and why can't she keep her head up? What is she ashamed of? She says she's ashamed she left her brother and his gf dead. She also cried in an interview when she said she heard the news that Janelle was still alive.
She cried when she heard the news that Janelle was still alive?
Did she cry because she knows that she now has to make her statements consistent with the survivor?
Also, it is not just me who thinks and hears Ramona's voice is devoid of sadness when relating the story of his brother's murder.
Maybe crying on cue with no tears also run in their immediate family - like Mother like Daughter.
Note that I am not privy to any personal detail or information about Claudine Barretto save from the news and information she readily and generously makes available to media (social and mainstream).
Note that my interest on this issue is from an educational viewpoint because we could learn a lot from what we see and hear. You might even discover that there might be a Claudine-Barretto-like person in your own life.
Can you see a pattern here?
It was September last year when Claudine Barretto sent out angry tweets to an un-named person who apparently was destroying her home/family/marital life. Her rage reached the point where she issued grave threats:
"[P]apatayin kita. You don't deserve to live. Suntukan tayo ngayon na."
Eventually, she named the target of her rage as Angelica Panganiban.
And rightfully so, Angelica's home network issued a demand letter to Claudine.
Claudine kept quiet after this legal shocker.
She also kept quiet when the man she used to call as her second father, Star Magic head honcho Johnny Manahan, called on Claudine's threat to see them all in court: "Go Ahead. Sue, Claudine. Make our Day! Para Bellum."
At almost the same time this year, Claudine was not saved from her own tears, rage and fears when she called a GMA News Team to a bank in Quezon City after learning that her bank account went from an alleged 5million-peso to a Zero.
I know it is not just me who thinks that if Claudine were the aggrieved party, she will not be flaunting her rage for all her fans and endorsers to see. It is obvious though that she clearly thinks that it is she who has been aggrieved. If I were the injured party, I'd flaunt pity, not rage.
It also does not make any sense how a bank would lose millions of pesos from a client's account and despite the account being a joint bank account of husband and wife, the news has conveniently left out Raymart's side - other than the damage control press release statement issued by the married couple who claim they are "still very much together."
I know it s not just me who finds these details inconsistent and not making any sense at all.
I have a feeling Claudine Barretto does not easily back down and always wants to get the upper hand on anything.
In the interview she and Raymart did on Showbiz Central's Don't Lie to Me on July 2010,
see Raymart cower and submit to what Claudine thinks is her correct knowledge on a flimsy detail (4:27-4:37).
In this clip, Claudine mentions the burial date of their pastor friend who passed away and looks on to Raymart for confirmation.
Raymart volunteers the information "Today"
Claudine interprets it as "Tuesday pala"
Raymart corrects her again and speaks to the mic this time to say, "Today, today."
Claudine gives an expression of surprise, "Huh?"
Raymart reluctantly and reiterates "Today"
Claudine insists what she knows: "Hinde. Ang alam ko tomorrow."
Watch how she does not waver and sticks to what she thinks she knows is right while Raymart sheepishly gives in.
Has Claudine Barretto always been this angry?
I do not live with her 24/7 nor was I present when she was growing up. But I did watch on TV her live interview about Rico Yan's death and re-watched it again via the uploaded video on YouTube below:
In this exclusive interview, Boy Abunda asks Claudine to relate the details of how she knew of Rico Yan's death.
I have the feeling that Claudine is 100% telling the facts from 0:27-1:41 and her facial expressions and words are telling us the truth.
When Claudine saw her mother pale and asks her mother why this is so (0:50-0:57) , Claudine rolls her eyes in annoyance and irritation as she tells us her mother's answer.
When she finally reaches the point of her story where she now knows that "Rico has passed away," (1:31-1:37)
notice how she says: "yun, yun lang"
-- could this be her exact same sentiment about his death?
Her apathy is striking.
Imagine that you were in a close and intimate relationship with someone who has just died - regardless whether the relationship was loving or abusive - and see yourself relating / re-living the moments you learned of his or her death. Would you also remember / re-live the feelings you felt at those moments? More than remember, they would surely come up on their own provided that you did feel those feelings.
And her non-feeling was confirmed by Claudine herself when asked by Boy Abunda at 2:36: "Were you hoping if he was still alive?"
Claudine responded at 2:47: "I was hoping he was still in the hospital. I don't know what I felt exactly."
Notice that Claudine was more emphatic when she was relating what her mother said as the reason of her mom's paleness: "Nahihilo lang daw sya" (0:55-0:58).
What was most telling was 2:53-2:54 when she re-stated her exact feelings about her ex-lover's death:
"This cannot happen to ME."
and added as an afterthought - remembering how that statement would reflect on her -
"or to him. More than anything, this cannot happen to him"
She also grits her teeth (this is an expression of anger which she is trying to hold back) at 3:49 and at 4:28-4:29 in reference to the problems she and Rico were facing as already forgiven, "we forgive each other na."
And why does she like to pick fights?
I have the feeling that ABS-CBN knows of Claudine Barretto's attitude and has expertly maneuvered, protected and built her soft, wholesome image. They have also performed tons of damage control.
Now that she is being handled by GMA - who relatively knows little of Claudine's probable Histrionic Personality Disorder - it is anyone's guess what will happen next in her career.
