6 Things We Could All Learn from Ruffa, Shaina and John Lloyd

This is old news but it's something we could all learn something from.

Is there a John Lloyd in your life?

Are you acting the way Ruffa is acting?

Do you feel as "insecure" as Shaina?


A disclaimer: the views and opinions expressed on this post are based on details, news which are readily available on mainstream and social media. None of these details are invented and so are appropriately referenced as necessary (and if possible).


The story went: Ruffa and John Lloyd became a couple (which they never admitted) after they worked together in the show Betty La Fea. They were even spotted together at a hotel in L.A. in 2009 but they still admitted to nothing.

In 2010, John Lloyd is now being publicly seen and linked with Shaina. He admits his relationship with Shaina but denies contacting or still calling Ruffa. But Ruffa confirms - and Dr. Vicky Belo too - that John Lloyd is still calling her. John Lloyd releases a statement to the press that he will stay away from Ruffa. Ruffa exclaims that John Lloyd should walk his talk and to `fess up and stop with his "indecisions."

In 2011, John Lloyd and Shaina celebrate their 1st year anniversary. On a bday party of another celebrity, Ruffa, Shaina and John Lloyd meet. Ruffa says she received an angry text from Shaina but Shaina claims it was Ruffa who texted her first. Ruffa tells the couple to leave her alone. John Lloyd and Shaina allow themselves to be interviewed about the incident. Ruffa reveals that John Lloyd is a drunkard. Ruffa now claims that the couple are no longer bothering her.

See ABS-CBN's interesting interactive timeline of the issue - because they care enough to give us the very best.


Minus the details, the summary of the story goes: guy is in a relationship with girl1 but never admits to it. He proceeds to be in a relationship with girl2 but is still holding on to girl1 - but never admits to it. Girl2 is confused and bewildered guy can't let go of girl1 and feels insecure about herself and/or the status of their relationship. Girl2 gets angry at girl1 not at guy. Guy escapes the cat fight and washes his hands off the incident. Girl1 gets back at guy by revealing to the public that boy-next-door is actually a drunk and a womanizer. Girl1 claims guy and girl2 is no longer bothering her.


And the lessons we could all learn from @iloveruffag, Shaina and John Lloyd are:

11 Be wary of a man who has a pattern of having a string of ex-girlfriends he cannot seem to let go off.

Why?

First off, there is nothing wrong when a dude is friends with his ex. There is something wrong when the dude is still extracting supply from his ex and is using friendship as a convenient guise to do so.

When a dude is addicted to the supply he gets to receive from an ex-gf, he will continuously and constantly communicate with her as long as an ex-gf is giving him what he wants. His constant calls / communication is an attempt to hook you still, to keep you hooked, to hold onto you

not because "Iba ka magmahal,"

not because you are special,

not because you are the only one who understands him,

not because you're different,

not because you have that unique one-of-a kind something that keeps him coming back for more,

not because you can give him something his current gf can't give him,

it's because you're still accepting his call and giving him attention = supply.

It's because the man is an addict.

It's because the man cannot help himself -- not because you're gorgeous, loving, yummy --

it's because he cannot help himself.

You are his dealer / supplier.

And if you stop supplying. He will stop taking his fix from you and he will jump to someone else.

You are expendable to him.

You are not an individual to him - you're just a source of whatever it is he needs to feel full, to feel high.


Do this: stop giving him what he wants. Cut off your ties with him. Sever it. STOP CONTACT.

If he knows he cannot get something from you, if he can no longer get what he wants from you, he won't care for you because he never has. He will jump to the next one who can and wants to give him supply.


Dra. Vicki Belo confirms John Lloyd Cruz made several calls to Ruffa Gutierrez.

We can only guess though if this news article is true or not and how half-meant is Willie Revillame's question to John Lloyd at 3:33, "Pano mo napapagsabay-sabay?"






2 Be wary of a man who has a pattern of not defending / who does not stand up for the women he has or has had a relationship with.

This should be taken as a sign that the relationship will highly likely get ugly. When a man does this, this means he only values himself more than he values his partner = he is selfish = self-centered = is more than willing to hurt someone else for his own benefit / gain.

This alone indicates there is no partnership in the first place, if you think there is - the pseudo-partnership is seriously damaged or is in the brink of destruction.

Dagdag naman ni Ruffa: "'Saka, my God, ang dami namang lalake diyan na kaya akong ipagtanggol."


"..when Ciara showed up in A.S.A.P. Mania, the speculation (that she and John Lloyd have broken up) gained some credence when her A.S.A.P. colleagues, while wishing her a happy birthday, kept advising her to find a guy who would and who could fight for her and put her above all else (career included)."



3 Be wary of a man who gives you a warm hug but only does so in exchange for sex, your attention or "love."

Any act of "kindness" or "love"

any "gift"

any "token"

must be taken as it is - an act of kindness/love, a gift, a token.

Do not equate it with a genuine gesture of change, apology, regret, shame or guilt.

To be able to know if these "acts," tokens or gifts are sincere, the least you can do is express and give your appreciation - NO MORE - NO LESS and NOTHING ELSE. If he expects more than this, he is expecting a business transaction and not an authentic, sincere heart to heart interaction.

Remember, just because he did ABC does not mean/ it does not oblige you to do XYZ.



4 Just because he's not physically hurting you does not mean he's not abusing you. If he is abusing you and you're allowing it, you are abusing YOU too.


"Hindi naman daw sumama ang loob niya kahit na idinenay ni John Lloyd na tumatawag ito sa kanya.
`For me naman, there's no issue whatsoever. I mean, he can call me ten times a day or he can call me once a year. You know, JL and I are still friends.'"

is equal to: "Hindi naman kelangang pahalagahan niya ako, ok lang yun. Kung hindi niya aaminin ang papel ko sa buhay niya, hindi issue yun. Sino ba ako naman ako. Kung wala akong kwenta sa kanya, ok lang. Pwde pa rin naman nya akong tawagan kahit kelan nya gusto. Lagi pa rin akong nandito para sa kanya. Magkaibigan pa rin kami."


"Alam mo yung pagiging babaero niya, siguro second na lang yun, e."

is equal to: "Nakikipag-relasyon sya sa ibang babae bukod sakin, hindi ko priority kapag pinagtataksilan ako ng ka-relasyon ko."



"And of course coming from a relationship so volatile [and] abusive, ang sagot ko sa kanya, 'You can drink all you want till you turn blue, I don't care.'"

is equal to: "Okay na yung lasenggero kesa nambubugbog."




5 If you feel "insecure," find out if your insecurity is a long-standing issue you have with your self or is it something you feel has been recently brought out by something or someone.

Remember though that nothing or no one could make you feel insecure without your permission.



6 In the words of Tita Oprah: "If someone tells you who they are, believe them."
Do NOT give him/her the benefit of the doubt because you have just received a GOLDEN gift straight from the horse's mouth.

Ruffa Gutierrez explains why her relationship with JohnLloyd ended. She claims JohnLloyd told her: "'Hindi mo magugustuhan pag nakilala mo na ako,' and (she) said ano yun?'

"Then sinabi nga niya sa akin na 'I drink a lot, hapon pa lang minsan umiinom na ako.'"

Remember to treasure the knowledge others give to you freely and act on this knowledge. This is heaven's gift to help you make the choices that is right for you.




Have you learned anything from Ruffa, Shaina or John Lloyd? Share naman `jan.