Aint no Way Whitney Houston is dead. But she is.
All at Once, fans took a moment to realize, she's not coming back,
and it's finally hit everyone all at once.
Instantly, we remember that One Moment In Time we heard her excellently unforgettable voice and sang (or at least tried to) any of her songs.
She is the Queen of the Night.
She has more than a Million Dollar Bill.
But sadly, she has Something in Common with the late great Michael Jackson which Houston herself admitted to in her 2009 interview with Oprah).
In her 2009 "comeback," everyone thought she was Fine.
Some even called her return a Miracle.
But now we know It Isn't, It Wasn't, It Ain't Never Gonna Be.
She was open about her struggles and spoke about it so candidly and honestly.
She described how she expertly combined cocaine and marijuana enough for me to be curious enough to Try It on My Own.
She related how she once thought her marriage to her ex-husband Bobbi Brown was Worth It.
She told everyone how she adored her father - despite him suing her for $100M before he died - and staunchly defends him still by claiming that him suing her was influenced by people around him.
She recounts how her husband started to change for the worst when her father died.
She told of how she was spit on.
How she was controlled.
How she witnessed the women come and go in her ex-husband's life
and how she experienced all the abuse and knew its Not Right But Its Okay because she stayed on anyway.
She said
being with Bobbi had become a habit.
"He was my drug" she told Oprah.
She felt he was "All the Man that I Need."
"I Belong to You" -- she probably felt this towards Bobbi.
"Love That Man" she could have said.
Despite the abuse, she was 14 years attached to him enough to declare "(I'm) Saving All My Love For You"
But the pain became unbearable that the cracks were showing.
She was reportedly seen So Emotional in public
yet she stayed and still hoped that Love Will Save the Day.
Whitney My Honey, did you think he will Run To You whenever he said he would?
Did you numb all that pain away with medication?
He might be out of your life but is his evil eyes still haunting you?
She also said "I'm my own worst enemy"
and
"The biggest devil is me."
Kevin Costner confirmed Whitney Houston's feelings of inadequacy when she reportedly asked, "Am I good enough?"
"Would they like me?"
and we could only wonder how she could have felt or thought that way about herself.
I now wonder if Madonna or Tina Turner or Mariah Carey could've helped her, with them having been in a similarly violent and physically/emotionally/sexually abusive, addictive, controlling relationship (Madonna with Sean Penn, Mariah Carey with Tony Mottola and Tina with Ike Turner).
Whitney Houston, the world thanks you for helping us understand the fact that The Greatest Love of All is indeed learning to love one's Self.
In your next life, feel free to say "I Learned from the Best" and that ultimately you can truthfully say "I Know my Own Strength."
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